Article #55: The Role Of A Mentor

A mentor is someone who guides the other person in any field. At some point or the other, every one of us need someone’s assistance in a particular aspect or aspects. Do you agree? Now don’t tell me that we can Google everything these days, then I would say Google is your mentor. 

Well, This Article is about the role of mentors in our lives.

As a kid, we never know most of the things, right? But we were given the constant guidance from our parents in many things irrespective of small or big, starting from speaking in a language to choosing a career. Then, we were guided by our Teachers in their respective subjects. Sometimes, we would have chosen our friends who have an expertise in a particular area for suggestions.  So, what are all these people called? More or less, the mentors. The job could be related to anything, personal, professional, career or something general, but ultimately if someone guides you in a proper direction, they are your mentors. 

Well, there could be times wherein you really couldn’t find the right people to contact or you may not be aware on how to find a mentor for a particular task. So, here are the qualities you need to look for before choosing a mentor. 

1. Enthusiasm: When you are looking for a mentor, you should key in on one very important aspect of the possible mentor's personality. They need to be enthusiastic—almost to the point of being too enthusiastic. You should feel their sincerity in the way they present their desire to help you. Good mentors are passionate about their yearning to help others and receive their rewards not in the form of materialistic items or money, but in seeing the people they have helped become successful. 

2. Fitting: You may have many people to choose from when you are shopping for a mentor. This can be similar to shopping for a shirt. If you find a style you like, the one that fits might be at the middle of the pile or be the last one you look at. Many people will try to manipulate you over your life and career, trying to become an influencer and develop you in the way that worked for them, or that they think is best. A good mentor will create a strategy that fits your needs, talents, skills, and desires and push you towards a better you—not towards a clone of themselves. 

3. Learning: Good mentors are life-long learners and should want to pass that desire on to everyone they come in contact with. They should realize that while they are experts, they cannot possibly know everything. A valuable trait in a mentor (and to be frank, in everyone else) is the understanding that it is ok to be an expert and not know something. A mentor that can answer a question with, "I don't know, but I will find you an answer" is someone worth spending time with. Good mentors will be excited to share their knowledge with you and be willing to explore the possibility that you may have answers that they do not. A mentor that will learn from their mentee is indeed worthy of your respect and time. 

4. Encouragement: All people have a zone in which they operate and live in. They are comfortable and able to excel in this zone. This is called a comfort zone. To grow, you'll need to need to step outside of your comfort zone to be able to have new experiences and learn. A good mentor is capable of identifying your comfort zone and developing steps and activities within your goals that will force you to become comfortable outside of your zone. 

5. Active Listeners: A mentor needs to be able to listen to what you are saying. They should be involved in the conversation, prompting you for clarity or more information. They shouldn't be distracted when you are talking to them. A person that is always allowing themselves to be interrupted by phones, emails, or people walking by when in a session with you is not actively listening. A good mentor will not have any distractions when you are talking with them, focusing on you and taking part in the conversation. They will ask questions, reflect on your answers and even give you some silence when you need to think. 

6. Feedback: Everyone can benefit from feedback. Even the most skilled and knowledgeable person is a beginner at something, requiring feedback to continue to grow in their new skills. Feedback is essential to improvement. A mentor should create long-term objectives and short-term goals with you to help you become the expert you want to be. Feedback should be provided during each session with your mentor. It should not be degrading, but should simply inform you of a shortcoming, and identify corrective actions you can take to be more successful the next time. 

7. Respect: Respect for others is not limited to mentors, but it should be on your list of requirements for yours. Mentors should know how to be tactful in their conversations, and be emotionally intelligent. Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of emotions in others and oneself, and be able to make decisions and influence others while controlling emotions and feeling empathy for those they are dealing with. Mentors shouldn't be judgmental of others, voice their opinions of people, or talk down to you about others 

8. Expertise: Mentors are not just respectful, enthusiastic people. They should be considered an expert in their field, and be in the same field you are hoping to become an expert in. It is possible for a mentor to not be in an expert in the field you work in and provide excellent guidance, but you generally should stick with an expert in your field. Your choice of a mentor should be respected by their peers, and yours. If you choose a mentor that is not well-known in the industry, you may not get the results you desire. 

Now that with this criterion, let’s say you have chosen a mentor. So, what are the things that you should do and also you shouldn’t do. 

Things you should do as a mentee: 

1. Take the initiative for the help 

2. Avoid perfectionism, it’s okay even if you do mistakes 

3. Maintain Balance in your personal and professional life 

4. Work hard for your goals 

5. Support your peers in the same area 

6. Take responsibility for the long-term results, good or bad 

7. Welcome experience 

Things you shouldn’t do as a mentee: 

1. Expecting Mentors to solve all your problems 

2. Expecting Mentors to take part in your work 

3. Stay in your comfort zone 

4. Taking advantage of the mentorship in other ways 

5. Hesitate to express or talk 

6. Letting your ego get in the way 

Alright, now let’s see the other side of the coin, about you being the mentor. Here are the skills that you need to possess. 

1. Ability and willingness to communicate what you know. 

2. Preparedness 

3. Approachability, availability, and the ability to listen. 

4. Honesty with diplomacy 

5. Inquisitiveness 

6. Objectivity and fairness 

7. Compassion and genuineness 

Well, let’s say that you became a mentor. How to mentor someone? Here are some of the tips. 

1. Ask Questions. One of the core actions a mentor can take is to ask their mentee questions. 

2. Share Ideas. Mentees come to you because they value your opinion. 

3. Tell Stories 

4. Dig Deeper 

5. Listen with Compassion 

6. Offer Encouragement 

7. Make Introductions 

Now, what are the do’s and don’ts for a mentor 

Things you should do as a mentor: 

1. Listen Carefully 

2. Criticize constructively 

3. Support and facilitate 

4. Teach by example 

5. Encourage and Motivate 

6. Promote Independence 

7. Promote Balance 

8. Take Pride in the success of your mentees 

Things you shouldn’t do as a mentor: 

1. Protect from experience 

2. Take over 

3. Force 

4. Use undue influence 

5. Condemn 

Well, I hope this episode has provided you enough information on how to choose a mentor as well as how to become a good mentor. So, don’t hesitate in taking the assistance from anyone if required and also don’t step back in extending your help for anyone in need. Let the roles of mentor and mentee go together as we grow together.