Article #72 : Ruminative Brooding

Did you ever feel too much in your feelings and couldn’t move on from negative, intrusive thoughts? Did you fail to suppress those unpleasant feelings? Did you ever try to analyze the whole process involved? Well, if you ask me, then I would term it Ruminative Brooding. 

As part of this article, today, we have yet another interesting story that depicts the concept of Ruminative Brooding. 

The story is about a young man named Balu who just entered the corporate world.  

Balu is a social person by nature who loves to interact with people and make as many new friends as he can. He is also sincere at work. The combination of his friendly nature and sincerity paved a smooth path for him to survive in the corporate.  

But not all the days are ours, and Balu is nowhere an exception to it. To deal with certain situations in the corporate world, one needs some experience which Balu doesn’t have since he is a fresher.  

His workplace has a strange hierarchy. Balu needs to report to a lead who works on-site and even to a manager who sits just beside him. There has been an ambiguity always when it comes to work, whose instructions to follow, especially when they are contradicting each other. 

One fine day, the ambiguity grew wider, and Balu was frustrated. His lead was asking him to do one thing and his manager, the other thing. In a frustrated voice, he spoke to his manager to talk to his lead, discuss and finalize whose instructions he needed to follow.  

His manager raised his voice and said, “Balu, try to control your emotions. I am unable to talk to you man” 

Balu shouted on his manager before everyone, “Even I am unable to talk to you” 

His manager asked him to talk to his super boss and left the place. 

Balu went crazy and experienced tsunami of emotions at the moment. Anger, frustration, sadness, irritation, unhappiness, disappointment and what not. He was even afraid that his manager would fire him from the job. His colleagues came up with their piece of advice for him. While some of them genuinely empathized with him and asked him to apologize to his manager, others made fun of his behavior asking him not to shout at the clients in future. 

Balu carried the incident even to his home and couldn’t sleep for the night. His mind raced in several ways; he got indulged in various negative thoughts and finally went into Ruminative Brooding. 

Day 1 after the incident, Balu couldn’t face his manager. He was afraid that his manager would take revenge on him. Although he was working, his mind was only roaming around that incident. He became quite calm and stayed away from everyone.  

Day 2, Balu was still in his thoughts. He felt that before the storm there would be silence everywhere. He was still feeling that his manager would come anytime towards him and talk about the incident, or his manager was waiting for the right time to attack him. 

Day 3, Balu was surprised that nothing happened in the last 2 days. Was his manager planning for something big? What should be his reaction towards the plan? What if his manager involves HR? How could he respond?  

Day 4, Balu thought maybe his manager forgot the incident and moved on. But all thanks to one of his colleagues who came with a comment stating that he thought Balu would punch his manager on that day after looking at his face. That was it, Balu again went into Ruminative Brooding. He thought that without any doubts, he would be fired. 

Day 5, Balu was in the same state of mind. His manager observed a lot of changes in his behavior towards the work and towards everyone. He could clearly see the active, cheerful Balu turned into an inactive, sad Balu. The day came to an end, and everyone started leaving the place. Although it was raining, Balu was trying to walk until he got an auto or bus. His manager found him and offered a lift to Balu in his car. Hesitatingly, Balu got into the car. 

His manager started, “Balu how are you doing?” 

Balu said, “Sir, I am ok. Thanks for asking” 

His manager added, “But I don’t think so. I have been noticing you for the last 5 days and feel something is wrong with you. It seems to me that you are somewhere deep in your own thoughts. Is your family doing good?” 

Balu replied, “yes sir they are good. Thanks for the concern” 

His manager asked, “Then what is the problem? Now, we are not in the office. You can share with me without any hesitation. Maybe I can help you. Don’t be afraid and assume that I am your friend” 

Balu thought that it was the right time to clarify and revealed that it was their dispute the other day which had been troubling him so far. 

His manager smiled and said, “you still didn’t forget it? Until you reminded me today, I couldn’t even recollect the incident. Balu, there was nothing to take it personally. I discussed with your lead and tried to understand your viewpoint. It shouldn’t have happened in that way. But it’s ok. At the end of the day, we are humans and it’s normal that sometimes we experience such outbursts. I hope you wouldn’t repeat it in future and gain control on your emotions” 

Balu felt happy and even guilty on his thoughts and responded saying, “yes Sir, I will control myself from the next time during such occasions” 

His manager continued, “Did you know that there is a psychological term associated with your anxiety and thoughts during all these 5 days?” 

Balu surprisingly looked at his manager. 

His manager said, “It’s called Ruminative Brooding which is nothing but getting stuck experiencing the same negative emotions again and again in an unproductive loop. It’s passive and repetitive thinking that serves no purpose. It tends to reinforce our negative feelings because negative feelings are powerful magnets for our attention” 

Balu could correlate with everything that he had experienced in the last 5 days. 

He asked his manager, “Sir, you are right. But do we have a solution for this?” 

His manager said, “Yes of course. You don’t need to get out of your feelings altogether, but you may need to train your brain to be less in their sway” 

Balu again looked surprisingly towards his manager. 

His manager continued, “Disengage your attention. The more you try to suppress or avoid thinking or feeling something, the more it dominates your attention. So, disengaging doesn’t mean censoring. It means accepting and neutralizing. First, remind yourself that your thoughts and feelings aren’t threatening. They’re not going to hurt you. It’s safe to let them into your conscious awareness. Now you can check in with them. Sometimes it helps to give them a silly name like chocolate and say, ‘Hi Chocolate I know you would come today, or I am expecting you today, goodbye chocolate’. The idea is Name it to tame it. Once you have accepted your feelings, distract yourself with something new like concentrating on your hobbies or hearing a new song or getting close to nature” 

Balu found it helpful and said, “Thank you so much Sir. My home is just nearby, I would always be grateful to you for your understanding as well as your advice on Ruminative Brooding” 

Saying this Balu went to his home peacefully. 

Moving on from the story, did you know that Ruminative Brooding is associated with numerous mental health conditions, including depression, generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), alcohol misuse, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), self-harming behaviors, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and eating disorders. 

Neuroscientists have shown that the default mode network (DMN) is critically involved in rumination. The DMN is the region of the brain that’s responsible for daydreaming and mind-wandering. It’s basically the opposite of an attention network. And in fact, people prone to rumination actually have less ability to shift their attention from negative emotional stimuli. They have a harder time disengaging from their intrusive thinking pattern, indicating a specific lack of cognitive control. 

Apart from Disengaging attention and distracting ourselves, we can also try practicing Yoga, drawing, Rearranging the books alphabetically and so many other things that require focus and successfully can deactivate our DMN. 

In the worst-case scenario, we need to get in touch with the Mental healthcare professionals who can use evidence-based approaches like cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), rumination-focused cognitive behavioral therapy (RFCBT), and other treatment options that modify thought processes to do all of this stuff better than we can on our own. 

So, let’s ensure that we don’t get carried away with our feelings. We can simply feel our feelings, but not ruminate on them, especially the negative ones. 

What do you say? Let me know in the comments below.